I read recently that fellow Japan-blogger Fuji Mama is leaving Japan soon. I know she must be filled with all sorts of conflicting emotions--you know, the feeling that leaving Japan will be heartbreaking but also exciting but also scary but also somehow freeing. Not to put words into her mouth, or anything, but this is how I would feel. In fact, I rather expected to be experiencing these emotions right about now.
See, it was never our plan to stay in Japan for five years. We thought we'd be out in three to four, tops. Actually, we never put a number to the length of our stay here, which is probably a good thing, since we're unlikely to be going anywhere in the next year or so. Because we aren't military, we make our own plans, meaning we can stay, or we can go home.
But there's a third choice: a transfer to another DODDS location. I say choice, but a transfer is really about luck and seniority (it's the U.S. Government, after all--how well you do your job has no bearing once you're through your probationary period). If you've got both--luck and seniority-- working for you, you just might wrangle a plum (that's relative, I know) assignment in much-pined-for Europe.
We thought it was our turn this Spring. Husband went into the transfer round with high hopes, only to have those hopes dashed to bits. To make a painfully-long, intricate and excessively boring story short,
there simply were no jobs available for Husband in any of our preferred
locations. After we heard, we felt pretty sour, let me tell you--I'm
sure we looked for several days as if we'd sucked on a whole bushel-basket
of lemons. I wanted to stamp my foot, to complain to someone, anyone, at
length. But there was nothing to be done. It was what it was.
Perhaps I should clarify that we love Japan. We really do. And the nice thing about loving Japan is that it makes the decision to stay here at least another year an easy one. It was just the anticipation of going somewhere new, somewhere we might decide to stay for a number of years (a number probably larger than five), somewhere that isn't a full twenty-four-hour-trip away from our home in the States. Plus, living in a country where you know for a fact you'll never fit in can take its toll on a person--at least a person who is not overwhelmingly delusional. Because you can trick yourself into a pretty neat existence here--trust me, it's not hard to get comfortable in such a clean, orderly, safe place.
Well-meaning people have been saying, "it's not so bad here," and they're absolutely right. I honestly can't complain. So I'll take those lemons, boil up a nice sugar syrup, and make lemonade. Lemonade's starting to sound pretty good right now.